My Children No Longer Speak to Me — Do I Have the Right to Deprive Them of Their Inheritance?

Practical Steps If You Decide to Proceed
If you are moving toward a decision to disinherit or significantly reduce the inheritance of an estranged child, several practical steps are worth taking alongside the formal estate planning work. Keep a personal record — separate from the estate documents themselves — of the estrangement: when contact ceased, what attempts at reconciliation were made, and what the circumstances were. This record creates evidence of a considered, intentional decision made by someone who was mentally competent and fully aware of what they were doing, which can be invaluable if the estate is later challenged.

Review the beneficiary designations on all retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and bank accounts, because these assets pass directly to named beneficiaries regardless of what your will says. An estranged child who is still named on a beneficiary designation from years ago will receive those assets even if your will or trust explicitly excludes them. Updating these designations is essential and is often overlooked in the focus on the formal estate documents.

Finally, remember that none of this has to be permanent. As long as you are competent, you can always update your estate plan if circumstances change — if estrangement gives way to reconciliation, if the relationship is repaired, if your feelings about the matter evolve. An estate plan is not a final judgment. It is a document that reflects your wishes at the time it is made, and it can be revised as your life and relationships continue to develop. Working with an experienced estate planning attorney is the most reliable way to ensure that whatever you decide is executed correctly, legally protected, and reflects your actual intentions as clearly as possible.